Where is home?

I took my first breath in Ohio, my first steps right there in Cleveland.

My first day of school was in Nashville. I lost my first tooth in a Kindergarten classroom in the south. I got my first stitches in a hospital there too. I built sand castles by a lake in Tennessee.

I learned to ride my bike along an alley in Pennsylvania. There is a stone house on a corner there where my father still lives, which long after my parents divorced was still  known as ,"the House".

I learned to drive in parking lots and interstates stretched from North Carolina all the way up to a an island in Maine. I crashed my first car on a bridge in Williamsport and flattened my first tire on a curb up the road.

I've been been burnt by the sun in Florida, Maine and every state in between.

I have held babies in Honduras, demolished houses in Detroit and scrubbed walls in New Orleans.

I've been white water rafting in Colorado and horse back riding too.

I have had food tours through Pittsburgh and seen the lights in the Big Apple.

I go to school in south Central PA and could be anywhere for grad school.


If I could be eating cheesecake in Pittsburgh with my best friend, holding babies in Honduras, taking classes at Messiah, going to church in Williamsport, sitting in the sun in Florida and hugging family in Ohio simultaneously-- then I might for once feel as though all of my heart was all in once place.

Instead, little parts of my life have been speckled throughout the country. I never could point to a place on a map or show you where I was 'born and raised'. Pages of my story have been written in more zip codes, cities, states and countries than I could tell you. There are very few states that do not have someone I love within their borders and very few places you can talk about where I couldn't tell you I have family there.

As I get ready to travel more, see more and taste more of this world-- I know I will be sprinkling more parts of my heart across this globe. I used to get sad whenever I left a place I loved. Sometimes between goodbye hugs I would mentally make plans to pack up and stay there for ever. I know now that you never truly leave the places and the people you love. You are apart of their story and they are apart of yours. You hear their name or see that spot on the map and your heart feels warm, happy or sometimes sad and sometimes heavy. It is a signal from your heart that an old familiar piece of itself is bouncing around in those streets or made a home in the memories of that person.

I have lost to ability to ever feel totally at home, to ever feel like one whole piece but that is just the price you pay for travelling, for seeing the world, and for loving people in every zip code and continent under the sun.

Thanksgiving Break

Thankful for...

 

My siblings 

 

Babies 

Time with friends

 

COFFEE!!

And this beautiful view

Just to name a few. 

#foodlessfeast2k14

I am a youth leader at the church I attend while away at school. It is a big church with an equally as large youth group. I am the senior girls life group leader and they are all gems. This last weekend I participated in my second 'foodless feast' weekend.

In the weeks leading up to foodless feast the youth group goes about different methods of fundraising to raise money for different causes related to poverty, hunger and homelessness. Then as an act of awareness and perspective- we fast for 30 hours, do service projects at community organizations and top it all off by sleeping in card board boxes in mid-November!

We went to a women's shelter where we had to open up the cabinets and cook whatever we had. Naturally, I called my father who was a chef and he gave us instructions on what to do. It was a little cruel to have to prepare a meal in the hardest few hours of our fast. 

Next, we went back and constructed our adorable box shelter for the night. We won the award for most unique, durable and warmest. It's also pretty darn cute.

After serving a mystery meal to some paying church member we started playing catch phrase and heads up- which went as well as you can imagine playing a guessing game on no food. Eventually we bundled up in 27 thousand layers and headed out to our box homes. 

The night was not nearly as bad as I anticipated, which probably is not realistic. We survived the night and were all hungry and cranky come morning.

The best part of the weekend: The youth raised over 15,000 DOLLARS. 

As I reflect on the weekend, I'd like to mimic the prayer of some of our youth by saying; I am incredibly thankful that we have the resources and privilege to choose to go hungry. That in order to know what it is like to be poor and hungry, we have to willingly subject ourselves to it. I also hope and pray that this privilege does not slip through our fingers without realizing the enormous responsibility that comes with it.  

Homelessness is so much more than cardboard boxes and hunger. It's complex, it is multifaceted and it is devastating. We have the resources to do something about it. I am incredibly honored to know 75 high school students who are more than willing to step up and do what they can.  

Semester Essentials {What's in my back pack}

{Planner} I never go anywhere without my planner. Right now I use the At-A-Glance student planner. I'm pleased with it and I like the size. Next year I plan on trying an Erin Condren life planner. 

{Small Notebook} I use a small spiral bound notebook for my lists. I split mine into four categories of lists. I ALWAYS have this with me. {Example here}

{Water Bottle} I try, keyword 'try', to always have my water bottle with me. I try to drink the 32 oz bottle 3 times as well as match the ounces of caffeine I drank with water. 

{Laptop} This is a no brainer. Always brings your laptop and charger. If I ever find myself needing to kill time I can get work done. 

{Also inside} I always have:

> Mechanical pencils

> Headphones

>Cash

>Keys, Student ID and wallet

> Class materials 

Courage

Courage; the power to trudge on in the aftermath of chaos. The storm has settled but the air is thick, branches are strewn. All the world is silent and calm but my heart is raging, my chest is heavy with pain and discouragement. I am in those moments after a change where you find yourself question a once unwavering peace that you were making the right decision. As I stood on the edge of the storm I could see the wind but it was not until I stepped in did I feel the wind whipping through me and the rain falling fast and hard on my sensitive skin. It was not until I could feel and hear the storm raging on the outside of myself, did it begin to seep in. It was not until I came face to face with the hurt did I question my decision.

Sometimes, courage is the decision to continue, to trudge on through the pain. To remain true to the once firm belief it was time to walk away. To continue, even though the road ahead is dark and unknown and I am not quite sure I am going the right way. 

Maybe, courage will be the strength to speak up in say I wish to turn around, that I have made a terrible mistake. Or maybe it will be the realization that I were right all along, even though hearts were unintentionally broken in the process. The strength  to not take responsibility for the healing of hearts that are not my own. Courage could be a combination of or all of these things at different times. I am not sure though. For now, I am on the aftermath of chaos.  I still feel anxious and I still do not know what way I am going. So for today, for right now, courage is to continue on in the direction I once felt sure about.  

To Do List love

  

I have a planner for my calendar, reading assignments work schedule, nanny schedule, appointments and major due dates. 

Then I have a notebook that is broken into 4 sections:

{Remember this}

{To Do Lists}

{Exam/Project Lists}

{Random Lists}

For my To-Do section I like to take al of the information on my calandar and put it down in a list so it's all ordered in one place. 

                               

I use a different color for each class, red for the urgent items and normal pencil for things that need done this week but doesn't matter when. Then of course I doodle on it to procrastinate the things on my list. 

How to have a beautiful, vibrant blog in one easy step.

I love blogging. I find it relaxing. However, four out of five posts I delete within 5 minutes of hitting 'publish'. Why? Because, comparison. That's why. Comparison sucks. I find myself meticulously combing over my blog posts and comparing it to similar blogs. If you are a blogger looking to expand your audience, I know you can relate.

Why are her Instagram pictures so perfect? HOW is her room is so organized? Her life is clearly more fun than mine. How can I have beautiful, vibrant blog?

It's easy. Live a beautiful, vibrant life. But do not live a beautiful, vibrant life for the sake of your blog. Do it for the fact that you live in a beautiful world and the very fact you even have a blog that you are worrying about means you are privileged. You have more than most.

Do not put one more second of thought into which instagram filter will get you the most likes. Do not worry about whether your outfit would make a good blog post. Do not take time from things that matter for things that do not. Your follower count and page views are not more important than your real, live world.

So go, see the world. Hold closely the ones you love. Laugh more than you cry. Be passionate about something. Give away generously, and not just your spare change to the bell-ringing men in Christmas hats on black Friday. Give you time, your resources, your energy. Be kind. Be bold, stand up for what you believe.  Live beautifully, live vibrantly.

And if, only if you get a spare second between coffee dates and tickle fights, take a moment to write about the vibrant beauty in your everyday.