What they didn't tell me about picking a major

What they didn't tell me is a new series I am kicking off as a result of realizing how clueless I was about this college/adulthood/real life gig I was recently thrown into. It started unintentionally with my post What they didn't tell me about attending a Christian College.. This post was inspired by conversations with students who would soon be attending a college similar to my own. It was from these same conversations that the inspiration for this series was sparked. There are so many lesson I learned the hard way, so many things I stressed about and a whole lost of questions I had with no one to direct them too. Out of that, What they didn't tell me was born!

What they didn't tell me #2: What they didn't tell me about picking a major

There is a short list of decisions I made at 17 which 21 year old me would concur with. The first major I declared would be among those decisions I am no longer on board with. As a senior in high school picking a major seemed so imperative to college success.  Feeling pressure to decide, I picked the first one that remotely had anything to do with my calling. It felt set in stone. Permanent. When my vision for life began to change, I felt trapped and anxious.  As a result my decision to change my major caused so much more stress than it should have. And to think it ended up being one of the best decisions I ever could have made!

Here is what I wish I had known about the scary thing known as "your college major"

#1 Going in undeclared is not going to set you up for failure. 

If you truly have no idea what you want to do but you are sure you want a degree- don't decide! Knock your gen eds out. It's okay not to know. 

#2 Changing your mind is perfectly okay.

We change and develop in every way through our college and young adult years- how can we expect our visions and dreams not morph with us? What we wanted to do as incoming freshman should not be the end all be all to our future. I reserve the right to change my mind as much as necessary, each so called 'wrong choice' in the moment, could end up being a very necessary lesson in hindsight. 

#3 It's a trial and error process.

You may go in hell bent on being a teacher, only to realize after your first field experience that you would rather swallow nails than mold young minds everyday. THATS OKAY. Sometimes people pick a major only to realize they'd rather do ANYTHING else. Better you find out now. 

#4 There's more than one way to skin a cat.

Meaning... There is more than one way to reach your ultimate goal. Children. That's all I knew I wanted to do and that's all I was good at. So I figured teaching, right? Wrong. I don't want to teach but I had no idea what my options were. I did research and found a plethora of options to meet my talents. Don't limit yourself to the obvious, do your homework (literally and figuratively) and take the road less traveled. 

#4 You are not required to justify your major or career path to anyone (except for maybe you're parents if they're the ones footing the bill)

If you have a less popular, obscure, controversial or difficult major everyone will have an opinion. You will get, "sooooo what can you even do with that?" or "That field is not hiring at all right now." so many times you will want to drop out. It is not your job to make others feel comfortable with your decision. If you are happy and confident that you are in the right place, it does not matter what others think.

What advice would you give to someone deciding on a major? What made you pick your area of study? 

God redeems everything.

'Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."

Who I have been and who I am now. I have always wrestled with how my mistakes fit into the person I am today. They are not who I am today but I cannot deny that they have molded my character and decisions. In my lowest moments I find myself identifying with the most unforgivable parts of myself. Deciding that because I have done bad, I am bad. In these moments, I beg God to fill me with the truth that reminds me I am redeemed because I am his. I find comfort in the Word that tells me there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.

How beautiful is that? You cannot undo what has already been done but you are free from it. You cannot rewrite the past, nor should you want to. Grace does not erase the past, it erases the shame. You can no longer be condemned and you can no longer condemn yourself. Recently, I lost sight of this beautiful fact and allowed myself to identify with the past and condemn what has already been forgiven. In a simple exchange with a friend I found a powerful reminder.

"I suck at relationships." I stated clearly and concisely with as much fact as the grass is green. 2+2=4 and Emily sucks at relationships. Those are the facts of life. I went on, "I suck at relationships. I am just bad at commitment and the work that goes into relationships. It has always been this way." My friend did not for one minute allow me to send out the invitations to that pity party. Instead she dropped truth in the form of a text message:

"God redeems everything. Even your past. Nothing remains untouched."

A simple declaration of God's redeeming power. Those words struck me right in my little heart. It spoke to me in more ways than the sender knows. She thought she was speaking into the current thoughts I was wrestling with regarding dating. It was more than that. 

I allowed myself to soak in that message as truth about all areas of my life. God redeems everything. All of it. Nothing remains untouched. Honestly, I imagined God coming through with a broom sweeping up broken glass, calmly shaking hands with people I cut off in traffic, apologizing to that girl in 10th grade I called ugly and cleaning up every metaphorical mess I ever made. I was also slapped in the face with every single time I limited God's redeeming power by assuming it was not enough to cover my sin. Somehow God has a way of coming in and clearing up the mess we've been tirelessly trying clean up to ourselves. As I have been searching through my little soul lately to decide who I am and who I want to be and unrelenting thoughts of past events beg for me to stake my identity in them, God comes in to remind me that none of that matters. 

While I feel berated with all of the baggage;  I have ADHD. My parents are divorced. I am not a spectacular student. I had eating disorder. I've hurt people I love. I can be selfish. I speak before I think. I have compromised my integrity. The list could go on forever. I have past and present struggles in which I could and sometimes do place my identity. Occasionally, I fall into the trap of mistaking what I have done with who I am. But none of those things are me because God redeems everything. 

The kick ass thing about God and grace and Jesus is nothing holds any power in my life anymore besides the fact that I am His.That's the thing about identity, when yours is in him nothing else really matters. When we're talking about eternity, who you were on the 17th of April in 2015 is irrelevant. Events of your past only define your today if you allow them to. Only what you accept as your truth becomes your truth. The past only becomes part of your identity when you allow it to seep into your heart and take up home in your thoughts.

His freedom is your freedom. His Grace is your Grace. His redemption is yours. His truth is your truth. Regardless. Choosing to accept his freedom, Grace, redemption and truth allows you to walk in his light without shame or guilt. I have the ability to decide where my identity is and I pick Him. I pick the redeeming, renewing gift that was won on the cross. I pick to be forgiven and shame free. I pick to be new, everyday. Not because I deserve it but because he freely gives it to me. The most fantastic thing about Grace is that it's free and it's yours too.

Blogging Hiatus.

I've been in a rut. Not a blogging rut, a life rut. Between school work and work work, I am being sucked dry of any fun. For the last 4 weeks it has felt like I have been consistently just about to drown and it is everything in me not to just sink. Now before you go and call for help, I am not by any means saying I am depressed or really even anything besides dramatic. I am just chronically stretched too thin and it has gotten the best of me. It always does this time of year. Thankfully, the end is in sight. Unthankfully, there is a lot of crap that has to be done before I can drag myself across the finish line.

Due to this unexpected life rut, I have taken and unplanned blogging hiatus for the last 3 and a half weeks. I have actively avoided my blog and anything blog related and tried to pretend I wasn't losing the following I had worked hard to maintain. I did not fulfill promises I had made regarding blog post requests. I did not answer e-mails from followers and people requesting guest posts. It took everything in me to post a few instagram posts but I could not so much as even start a new post or even edit the ones I had already written. I was fresh out of inspiration. I am not sure that my inspiration is back but I have mustered up the energy to write this so that counts for something, right?!

I think I just needed some time with the people I love and a moment to not be behind on things. This week I came back from the weekend feeling better, less drained and less "oh my God I'm drowning." I also have not yet had the overwhelming desire to drop out of school, so that's a plus. However, I did have 3 chocolate chip cookies for breakfast and stared at my computer screen for 45 minutes before I so much as opened a word document. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

There is a lesson in here somewhere though. A lesson to not stretch yourself too thin, perhaps? Or maybe a lesson to take a break when you need it. Yeah, let's go with that. When you get in a life rut, or a blogging rut or a school rut. Any rut, really. They all suck. Take some time and do not apologize for it. Breath some air and drink some water. Put yourself to bed early. Hug people you love and take selfies with cute babies. Eat burritos. Step away from the crazy and do not for one second feel bad about it.Take care of yourself even if it sometimes means being a little selfish.

So here's to hoping I am back and ready to go. I have blog post ideas and a schedule I am ready to implement. I am hoping to find some time here soon to get ahead on blogging, so I do not fall behind when I hit a rut again!

What have I missed this month?!

3 things I regret not packing for college

I was very unprepared first going into college, this list could be a lot longer than it is. Actually, unprepared is the wrong word. I was prepared....for all of the wrong things. Need any scrapbook sticker ever made? Got it. Want to read one of the 57 novels I bought in high school and never read then? I'm your girl. Do you need a scarf to go with your outfit? Here, pick one from my collection of 438. Need a stapler, laundry detergent, a hair tie, a flash drive or anything else practical and obvious? Sorry, keep looking, I am NOT your girl. 

However, I like to think I learned quickly and come well prepared most semesters. There are still moments though when I go to reach for something and think "HOW did I not think of that?!" Normally I add it to my list and it's always there when I need it next. BUT there are still a few things I regret not bringing until I need them and I ALWAYS forget. Below are the 3 things I suggest you add to your packing list. 

#1 Off season clothing.

This is most likely exclusive to places that have all four seasons, if you go to school in Florida then it's probably a different rule. (BUT I WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I CHOSE TO GO TO SCHOOL IN PA)  However, like I said, I go to school in PA. A land where March is a free for all when it comes to Mother Natures mood. Snow day on Monday and shorts on Tuesday- it's not unheard of. One year we had a freak warm week and I had left ALL of my shorts at home. Keep at least one off season outfit around for Mother Nature's moodier time periods!

#2 My important documents

There were SO many times I could used my birth certificate, social security card and passport. I needed my birth certificate and social security card to apply for my passport. Then the next year, I needed my passport to give a copy to the school for my trip to Europe. Guess where they were? Safely AT HOME in my moms little folder of tricks. Most of the time a copy would do but still a few times I needed the real thing. My mom even had to go through the hassle of mailing my birth certificate via priority mail. While you have to be organized enough to keep track of them- I recommend keeping them with you!

#3 A spare power cord and phone charger.

In most cases laptops seriously outlive their power cords. More than once I realized my power cord was going, right around the time I had big projects or papers due! Having a spare charger for your major electronics pays off in the long run and avoids last minute emergencies.

I'm sure there are a plethora of other items I constantly forget but these are the major ones I forget EVERY time. 

Are there anythings you always forget to add to your packing list but always end up needing? 

What they didn't tell me about attending a Christian College

This post is not intended to bash the institution I've called home the last four years. It is however intended to clear up common misconceptions parents and students have about schools like my own. These are wonderful schools with abundant opportunities and generally a well-received reputation. I know a number of graduating seniors this year who have their hearts set on colleges with strong Christian values and that's wonderful. However, a lot of them are disillusioned about what is ahead.

I've encountered a few myths and have received agreement from peers at my school and other Christian institutions on these beliefs. These are misconceptions that I want to shed some light on.

Myth #1: Christian Colleges safe-guard your faith.

You will be hard pressed to find an upperclassman at a Christian School that did not come into it thinking on some level that God would “just be there". There is this general assumption that your faith is strengthened by association. This could not be further from the truth. My faith slipped the most my first semester in college. If anything, lukewarm Christians are around every corner. There are a large number of students who have never been challenged in their faith or given the opportunity to grow. There are also a lot of students whose parents forced strongly encouraged they attend. You have to be just as intentional about your faith here as you would anywhere else- a school that makes you attend chapel twice a week is not an excuse to be apathetic in your relationship with Christ. You have to work for it, just like everyone else. If you are attending a Christian College partially because you think it will be easier to stick to your faith than a secular school- you are in for a rude awakening. 

Myth #2 Parties don't happen here.

This is far from the truth. Do they happen less? Well, of course. However, the drunken debauchery that occurs here are underground operations. I'm not at all implying I am a saint nor am I implying I've never broken the rules. However, the drinking and rule breaking that occurs here leaves a much more bitter taste in my mouth. I've partaken in these operations before and gotten caught. This opened my eyes to the fact that drinking/partying here isn't just a matter of dumb decisions, it's an integrity thing too. There's a level of deception that has to occur in order to get away with it. So yes, it happens less but when it does happen, it's hidden behind a good dose of lying and hiding. Which is better? Blatant partying or less but deceptive partying?  I'm not so sure.

Myth #3: The institution will run flawlessly according to your morals, values and convictions. This misconception seems to be more on the end of parents but I have heard the same complaints from opinionated students as well. There are many, many decisions my school and the leaders have made that are not necessarily what I would have chosen. However, I am confident that the students’ best interests and God’s will are always the center of each decision. There is a belief that because the school claims the Christian title it is not allowed room for error. We are flawed people and flawed people make up flawed institutions. Just as we are a body of believers, we are a body of sinners. Christian institutions are not perfect. If you know that at the heart of your institution are leaders with a heart for Christ, then that is the best you've got.

All of this being said there are a few things I was never told but am sure to tell everyone who asks;

My professors are top notch. Comparing stories with friends from state schools and friends from other Christian schools I have come up with one resounding consensus; professors from Christian Schools are one of a kind. There are exceptions to every rule, yes. But the environment encouraged by Christian Universities sets the stage for a unique student/professor relationship. The class sizes are small and there is not one professor I have had that does not know me by name. I am friends with almost all of my past (and some current) professors on facebook, I babysit for a few of them and have an all-around great relationship. These connections create a great learning environment, build professional connections for networking and future references and open the door for academic opportunities while still a student.

You do not pay the sticker price. I almost missed out on four of the best years of my life because the sticker price of these schools scared me off. The 45,000 dollar price tag is very intimidating but I am going to let you in on a secret of private schools (Christian and secular): grants and scholarships! Almost every student will get a grant, which is kind of like a scholarship without having to be a ‘scholar’ AKA there are no requirements. It’s basically free money. In addition to grants, most students get pretty big academic scholarships. Unlike grants, there are some GPA requirements to receive/keep these. The price you pay is normally about half of the estimate they give you. Which is still a lot, I know but that leads me to my next point…

You get what you pay for. These schools are expensive, yes. I KNOW. I work 4 jobs and full time all summer to afford it. Why? Because it’s worth it. These are phenomenal schools, with amazing staff/faculty and an extraordinary education. So I will leave you with this; 

I would make the same choice every time. If I was 17 year old Emily picking a college again, knowing what I know now,  I would do it again. Every time.

What myths or stereotypes have you heard about Christian Colleges?  

What to do when everything is due

It is the week before Spring break here; which is the code for ALL OF THE PAPERS ARE DUE RIGHT NOW. There are a million and 4 things to wrap up before I hop on a plane to the sunshine state for a week. In any busy week it can be hard to find the the motivation to jump in a get done what needs to get done. In the busy week before breaks it is near impossible to stay on task, most notably a break where flip flops and tank tops are dancing in my near future.

However, "I was day dreaming about Disneyworld" is not an accepted excuse, so I have to strap in and hang on for another week. Here I will indulge you with my busy week game plan- which is every week for me.


Crack open the calendar. I open up my planner and write down every single thing that needs done this week. This includes tasks such as "E-mail Professor 'I assign too much homework'" or "Pack for trip". Anything that has to be taken care of, having it written down ensures it does not fall through the cracks. I make two lists (shown below) one for school assignments and one for miscellaneous tasks.

Break big tasks up. I have a research paper that has many components and a paper that involves watching two movies. Instead of simply putting "Movie paper" and "Content analysis" I broke the tasks down because I am more likely to look at my to-do list, see "Content analysis Introduction" and sit down and tackle it than if I were to write "Giant, scary, APA formatted research paper." I am also more likely to have a 2 hour time period to watch one movie, than I am to sit down, watch both movies and write the paper all at once. 

Make a plan. I take every single task that needs done and assign it to a day. This ensures that nothing little will fall to the wayside while I am working on the bigger tasks. Everything that needs done from answering e-mails to writing a paper will get a deadline. **Tip- cram as much as you can into the first few days of the week, you will thank yourself when on Thursday all you have is "Print paper" and "Pack for Florida" on your list! 

I go through this routine every week but I am more thorough in my execution of my plan on weeks like this one. How do you handle the crazy seasons of the semester? 

Keeping red hair, red.

The title of this post is deceiving, if you were coming for surefire tips and tricks of the trade from a professional fake red head- I apologize but you are about to be severely disappointed. This is much less of a post on what to do and much more on what NOT to do, laced with a few tricks that might actually work.

I am a new red head that is struggling to keep any of my hair red, besides the roots which are a Clifford level shade of red. You see, I have had red hair before and maybe I am subconsciously blocking out the trauma and stress of trying to maintain red hair dye but for the life of me I do not remember it being this hard. 

I had red hair when I was 14, when I was 15 (the hair color, spicy salsa red, which I distinctly remember not being difficult to maintain) and then again my freshman year of college. 

(Left: college, Top Right: 15, Bottom Right, 14) 

However, recently for the first time in 3 years, I decided to go 100% red again and it's proving to be very difficult. I impulsively made the decision to go red and completely unlike my personality I started with a mild red- hoping it would do the trick. It looked nice at first but over night it faded so returning to my normal go big or go home attitude, I bought a very intense red and tried again. Yes, I died my hair twice in one weekend (apparently that is a bad thing)

The second time came out looking fabulously red that my roommate told me was 'edgy'. Having a secret desire to be as edgy as possibe without being weird, I vowed to keep my hair this red until being marketable for jobs is more important than my edge, forever. Despite my determination to be the only fake red head in all of the world to deal with immediate fading, the shower proved to be ruthless on my fresh and edgy new color. After hours of complaining and repeatedly harassing my roommates by popping out at random moments asking, "On a scale of brown-10 how red is my hair," I began doing research on how to keep red hair dye longer- I settled upon a few things NOT to do, and a few tricks that actually work.

Things that work:

1. Wash your hair in cold water, This was appropriately timed in my life with a campus propane shortage and request to take shorter,colder showers. However, I didn't believe this was an actual thing that works but the other methods were more high-maintenance and I am lazy. So I gave it a shot, and it actually helped decrease the fading with each shower. There is some scientific reason as to why this works, but I don't really care so I will not even attempt to explain it- it's legit. Google it if you want to know. 
2. DEVINE'S RED COLOR DEPOSITING CONDITIONER This stuff is a God send, I swear. If Jesus was a hair product, he would be this one. My halfhearted attempt at explaining this: It's a bright pink jar of bliss that you put in your hair and keep there for a few minutes then wash out and pray your hair is still red. It helped to restore some of the red that had faded after the first week of dying it. While it didn't return it to the normal red, it is maintaining it until my patience runs out and I redye my hair. 
   

The things I ignored that probably work if you have more commitment than I do:

1. Wash your hair every other day. I have short hair that gets gross fast, so I will never try this but not surprisingly, not washing your hair is a surefire way to not wash out your dye. 
2. Professional Dye. I am poor and can barely afford name brand bagels, a professional dye job is not going to happen however, they know what they're doing better than a box. 
3. Glazes in between colors. I found a few articles that pointed be towards http://rouxbeauty.com/, saying they had magnificent glazes. However, you cannot order them online and driving to the store was too much of an effort- if you happen to pick some up feel free to mail them my way. 
4. Sulfate free shampoo. Another one I have no motivation to look into. However almost every article said to avoid sulfate hair products. Again, probably something science-y. 
5. Avoid the sun. I live in central PA and right now I am having a hard time remembering that the sun exists in these sub zero temps. However, I sure for those of you that I absolutely hate right now that live in tropical, sunny places- this is something to consider. I was just given a sample of Avon Advance Techniques Color Protection, That I plan on using when I go to FLORIDA IN TWO WEEKS! 
   

So there you have it, the lazy person's guide to halfheartedly attempting to preserve red hair. I plan on re-dying my hair right before my Florida trip and will probably come back with more things you shouldn't do like lay in the sun or swim in chlorine. Stay tuned for that!

What do you do to maintain your red hair? Any low maintenance tips for other lazy red heads?