Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Where is my identity?

As a college student I'm involved in a lot of different things. I have 3 jobs, I'm in clubs, I'm on different committees, I'm involved in my church. I go to meetings, I go to work, I make important e-mails and phone calls. I meet with girls from youth group, I give advice, contacts parents. I do homework, write papers, study. I go to work, I go to class, I am all over the place. Lately, I have been getting enjoyment and fulfillment out of my commitments. I'm doing important things, I feel needed and I like that. It's left me questioning my motives and prayerfully considering;

Where is my identity? I desire for my identity to be found in the arms of Christ. For my importance to be found in His Will. For my foundation to be built on His good and holy name. I want 'Daughter of the King' to be the only title I find fulfillment in. I long for His name be the only name I seek and for anything I do be done for his glory and not my own. But that is not the case.
The path I'm taking is marked by God but if all else falls away- am I okay with simply being His? Am I living as though he is one part of my whole identity or the foundation on which all else is built? If every title, every relationship, every GPA point and excellent letter of recommendation were striped away would 'follower of Christ' as my identity be enough to satisfy me? Would I be able to dust myself off and continue because Christ is my foundation and he is unmovable?

The honest answer is no. 

I put a lot of pride into being liked, into being busy and to giving the persona that I do it all and rock at it. It's a fault and I often ask prayerfully- "Am I doing this because I feel God's leading or for my own pride and ego?" I need to take time to stop building my resume and start building my identity in Christ. I need to recognize that I will not always be a student or a nanny. As years pass I will drop those titles and pick up new ones. I will become a wife, I will become a mom, a therapist. Names, titles and commitments will come, go and morph as I grow and change,

but I will always be His.

1 comment:

  1. Amazing post Emily! I can relate wholeheartedly. Our flesh continually pulls us in one direction but we have to remember to build our hope on Christ and things that are eternal.