Thursday, December 18, 2014

God in the Moments

The question was posed to us by a typically inquisitive professor. Known by her students to be laid back and frequently play devils advocate. She often poses thought provoking conversation starters. This particular one was met with uncomfortable fidgeting and snickers from the room full of 20 something undergrads.

"What is the meaning of life?" 

We attempted half-hardheartedly to defend our thoughts on life and why we are all here. Our professor wrote the answers on the board- filling it with words such as happiness, success and security.Then on another board, slightly different words as Christ-likeness, discomfort, service. We became intertwined in a conversation of questions. When we will achieve happiness, what is our goal, what is our final destination? 

A friend from the back offered the question "What's the point?" in reference to school. Our professor seconded the question in a stronger more vivacious tone, as if each word was its own sentence; "What. is. the POINT?" I stayed out of the conversation until that point and interjected with an "AMEN"

As I reflected on the conversation, I began to realize our language seems to be so pointed at the assumption that we have a final destination. That we have a certain point or goal in which our lives will be deemed successful or complete once we reach it.

As I have continue this journey into adulthood I have realized that “What am I going to do with my life?” Is a much less important question than “What am I doing with my life right now?”

My next big goal is graduation. In May 2016, after a long, hard 5 years, I will finally graduate. When I think about the day I will walk across the stage and receive my diploma, I actually get chills. The thought of reaching that goal fills me with joy, gratitude and pride. But not because of the piece of paper I am receiving or even that the moment itself is so significant.

The significance lies somewhere else, in the years; the tears, the pain. The moments of almost giving up and the moments of bravely deciding not to. It is in the growing and stretching and molding. It is the friends I met and the ones I have lost. The lessons and the mistakes, it was the travelling and searching. The moments that asked questions and the moments that answered them. When I think about the significance of graduation, it is not the act of graduating but rather the hundreds of names, memories and feelings that come flooding back. It is the realization that I am an entirely different person going out than I was coming in; and that is a beautiful thing.

I have found that life is much less about the destination than it is about the journey. Life is not about reaching the milestones but about the miles it takes to get there. The feeling of success is not reaching a certain point but rather a collection of moments, people and feelings that make reaching that point feel so significant.

God is not only standing at a finish line or waiting in the day just after graduation to use me. No, God is also in the moments. He is in the snow falls and coffee dates. He is in the moments of pain and the moments of growth. He is there in the car rides and morning jogs. He is in every day and every interaction. When invited in, He is intimately involved in your minutes, hours and days. He is with you just as much as you walk to class as he is walking across the stage at graduation. God fills the moments and the memories just as much, if not more than the destination.

As the days become busy and I lose sight of the right now in the hope for tomorrow, I have to ask myself: Am I living the moments or using the days as a means to an end? 

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