Courage

Courage; the power to trudge on in the aftermath of chaos. The storm has settled but the air is thick, branches are strewn. All the world is silent and calm but my heart is raging, my chest is heavy with pain and discouragement. I am in those moments after a change where you find yourself question a once unwavering peace that you were making the right decision. As I stood on the edge of the storm I could see the wind but it was not until I stepped in did I feel the wind whipping through me and the rain falling fast and hard on my sensitive skin. It was not until I could feel and hear the storm raging on the outside of myself, did it begin to seep in. It was not until I came face to face with the hurt did I question my decision.

Sometimes, courage is the decision to continue, to trudge on through the pain. To remain true to the once firm belief it was time to walk away. To continue, even though the road ahead is dark and unknown and I am not quite sure I am going the right way. 

Maybe, courage will be the strength to speak up in say I wish to turn around, that I have made a terrible mistake. Or maybe it will be the realization that I were right all along, even though hearts were unintentionally broken in the process. The strength  to not take responsibility for the healing of hearts that are not my own. Courage could be a combination of or all of these things at different times. I am not sure though. For now, I am on the aftermath of chaos.  I still feel anxious and I still do not know what way I am going. So for today, for right now, courage is to continue on in the direction I once felt sure about.