Monday, November 10, 2014

Remember why you started

I have wanted to quit a lot, quit school, quit work, stop being so busy or doing so  much. Fueled solely on coffee and prayer, I've been pouring energy I do not have, into school work I do not want to do. My energy is spent. I feel overly exhausted but I feel strongly that I am doing the work God has set before me. I have prayed endlessly that if I am expending unnecessary energy in unneeded outlets that God will make it abundantly clear and provide a way out. Instead, I see his hand in each and
every commitment in my life.

I can see, feel and appreciate his working and doings in my nannying, schoolwork, jobs, volunteer work and future plans. I know that plans and paths frequently change and mixing up what you knew to be true is God's prerogative but for this moment in time, I feel what I am doing is right.

Knowing this makes it easier to feel motivated but it does not leave me any less exhausted, frustrated and weary. Late last night as I was studying for an exam I did not want to take after a long weekend of work, I felt stronger than ever that I did not want to do this anymore. Naturally, I ended up looking through pinterest and a quote popped up on my feed,

"When you feel like quitting think about why you started." 

Think about why you started. You started for a reason, an urging, a yearning. No matter the path you are on at the start there was something that gripped your heart and said do this, go there, sign up for that. You strapped on your shoes and started this race for a reason. Whether there are little faces at home that motivate your current goals, whether you are doing something to help another, to further your education, to prove yourself that you can. Regardless, remember the reason that you started. Reflect on the moment you decided to do this. 

Whether you began with firm confidence or trembling fear the point is you heard a calling and you answered. When every single thing around you seems to be going to hell, when the road ahead seems to be perpetually longer than the road behind, when you are weary, tired and close to quitting remember why you started this journey. Then pick yourself up and start running, walking or crawling your way to the end. Repeat as necessary.  

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